mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
