Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
