This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
