I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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