I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
