I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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