I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
