i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Your penis caused this!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
