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Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
