just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
