when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
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Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
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He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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