in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
there is glitter all over my balls
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
