He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
