it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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