How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
