My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
