theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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