me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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