I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Randomize