so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
