please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
