this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
The Olympian is in my bed
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
