Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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