If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
