you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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