I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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