i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
