Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
