I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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