spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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