Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
