I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
