Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
