We're like a lot better than the average bears
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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