pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
