I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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