How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
