Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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