O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
