She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
