I am puke
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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