Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
