Please, let me fuck your mom
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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