She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
