it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize