I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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