Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
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the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
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