Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
