we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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