Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
