This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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