YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
