the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
