I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
