whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
