My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize
