After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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