but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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